The Truth About Smiling
by TajM
Summary: It’s not really angsty, nor fluffier than cotton candy. It isn’t very long, or short or too clichéd… It’s funny enough and it might just leave you smiling by the end and start believing just a bit more than your average cynic. Hopefully. LJ OneShot


**The Truth About Smiling**

**The typed twin of comfort food. ;) **

**Dedicated to the HMS Marauders... You are the bestest and have no added calories! **

**HUFFAH!**

**Disclaimer- Everything pretty much belongs to Rowling! Yay for her… not so much for me…**

"Lils?"

"Don't call me _that_."

'K." Did James Potter actually listen to Lily Evans for the first time?

"Flower?"

Nope- to good to be true.

"Don't call me that_ either_."

Well at least he was partially taking her advice- just not the hint. But Potter was oblivious to hints. They just rolled of his big overblown head. _Figures._

"Lily?"

It was easier when he still referred to her as Evans.

"What?"

"I have a question."

_Obviously_. It's not like he fancies pestering me as a hobby- O wait he does…

"What are you doing?"

"Is _that_ your question?"

"No, I'm working my way to it."

"Transfiguration essay. There question answered. Go scram."

"You're not the boss of me."

_If he just stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry it wouldn't be out of place at all… not at all._

"Fine, whatever you say Potter."

"Yup, whatever _I _say."

But he didn't seem to very pleased and chirpy about it like usual… even a bit… _bitter_.

Well if she didn't know better, Lily would have to say his cheekiness really sucked today.

Hers was off too…

Once again proving those two were way too much alike.

But she did know better. _Sadly._

James Tristan Potter's audacity never took a break. _Even more sadly yet._

So they sat in unnoticed silence as he fiddled with some spare parchment on her desk.

Who has a quill in their Quiditch uniform?

Oh, wait that was _her _quill.

Maybe _that's _ how she'd get rid of him this time.

'You're using MY quill without asking Potter! You're such an idiot. For all you know that may be sacred. You never even ask. So typical."

_Sacred?_

_Quill?_

Yah- her comebacks were _way _off… so instead she let him stay there.

But the moment he acts like an idiot again he's outa there.

"You don't seem to be progressing much."

Huh?

O, he speaks, again. Well apparently conversation can't be avoided. Maybe sacred quill isn't that bad of an idea…

"I'm still looking something up," she snapped.

_Liar, Liar…_

Before Potter showed up she was rereading the same two lines again and again.

Now that he was here she was reading the same line again and again.

_Thanks a lot Potter, because of YOU this will take even longer._

"Neat."

Potter continues doodling- wait writing… Goodness his handwriting is really swoopy.

You know… swoopy… the slanted loopy cursive. For a guy…

No wonder she thought it was doodling.

"You bet."

Now she no longer is pretending to reread those lines…

Pretend- she means… er… yah… admitting-ly pretend.

She's looking at him overly concentrating on his loops- er writing.

She's seen it tons of times on reports and junk but she always thought it was like that in order to take more space then necessary… odd…

She really has no life does she?

"Where are the girls?"

Girls?

O yah- friends.

_Probably in some broom closet_.

He gives her a lopsided grin.

O goodness did she say that out loud?

"You know we can always-"

O goodness she did.

"Don't finish that sentence," she muttered not even bothering to shoot him a disgusted or deadly look.

It no longer meant anything.

They both knew it.

With barley a handful of months left until graduation- it meant nothing.

"And the guys?"

"Raiding the kitchens probably."

"And you aren't there because…"

"Quiditch."

"Ah…"

"Are we actually having a civil conversation Evans?"

He flinched… good going Potter. You finally get a decent conversation minus the redhead temper and you have to go pointing it out.

Trying to go for the save…

"I mean… why can't we… er… always talk like this?"

She sighs.

"Because I'm Lily Evans and you James Potter." She said o so matter-a-fact-ly. "We're destined enemies. It's fate."

"Yah…" he said giving her a sad smile.

She sighed again- but inside her head this time.

_God, James. It's not that anymore. _

_I mean sure once it was like that but not _anymore.

_First Matt breaks up with me through his friend…immature idiot. Then my social butterflies of friends keep reminding me how I have to find some date for the spring formal or I'm doomed though I couldn't care less anymore. I love them to death but I have much better things to worry about. Because the taunts of Mudblood from the Slytherins is starting to hit much closer to home as I read every Daily Prophet and I can't just shrug it off anymore. _

_And Slughorne keeps giving my name to a million and one people at the ministry bragging to high heck about _I don't even know anymore _telling them I'm something I sure as heck know I'm not…and McGonagall adding even more to the head girl duties… and I can't take this anymore! Mum's getting even sicker and Petunia refuses to even talk to me period and by the end of the day your constant pathetic attempts to woo me is the last thing I need. _

Isn't there like an 'acceptable' wooing hour?

"Why don't you crash the kitchen too?"

She practically is screaming SUBTLE HINT!

"Yah… maybe I should…"

_Must be nice not having to worry about anything Potter. _

He flinched and gave a forced lazy smile.

O goodness why does she keep saying things out loud?

"Yah, it is… you should try it sometime."

_And while you're at it I will to… Not worrying about anything? God, Evans… Show me one day when I don't have to hold my breath while waiting for the mail just dreading that this will be the day I get it… the letters from the Ministry telling me Voldemort has finally succeeded on taking my parents. Or I don't have to wonder if everything will still go okay this one full moon… or if I can fool everyone that everything is just-all-right if I play my cards right it'll seem that every thing is just right while spending one more day staring at the immaturity of every giggling kid around me wondering if the walls of Hogwarts really keep them from seeing what's happening in the world around them?. _

_God, Evans and you don't even realize it… and you don't even acknowledge I changed! That maybe I'm not that git I was before… But worst of all is that annoying feeling that I want you to realize I'm not that git. That I _really _want you to realize it. _

"I'll pencil that in." she said giving him a forced smile… mentally hitting her hand on her forehead… smiling at Potter… Goodness… she's pathetic.

_She's giving me a forced smile… wow… that's not really Evans like… her smiles have always… been so natural and often… so easily complimenting her stunningly red hair and… her eyes… the green ones that got his attention from day one. Maybe she too has changed… _

And he'll miss her… God… he's _really_ going to… because after four year of unsuccessful attempts… _he's really going to miss her…_

"Good idea."

_Why is there awkwardness here? There was never one, never ever, before between us… yelling and rows seem to come so naturally… this… this… whatever this is hard. I don't like it very much. He's changed… and I don't know if I really like it. He hasn't even run his hand through his hair even once! What's up with that? _

Though she hated to admit it she always never totally hated that move as of late… gave him more character… A Marauder tends to have a lot of charisma and it just seemed to work with that.

But they both seem to be lacking the energy to have much charisma today.

Two of the most dynamic students in Hogwarts seeming so dull is just plain weird.

And maybe that thought is what did it…

Made her change her mind…

The feeling was just plain messed up… a feeling that everything was just messed up…but she couldn't help but act upon it… something inside of her was telling her to… a little voice that might have been there all along had suddenly spoke up quite firmly that this was a good idea compared to the latter… that it just seemed right… and if she didn't act upon it one day she might just regret that… Well instead of shaking her head and ignoring the voice… she decided to act upon it… because… it just seemed… so… it was so… weird… and…

"James!" she suddenly exclaimed that it shocked him quite a bit…

"Yes," he replied slightly startled.

_James? Yikes, where did that come from?_

"I er…"

"Yes…?" he encouraged.

"You're really good at transfiguration?"

"And you've _just _figured this out."

"And I'm really bad at transfiguration."

"And I haven't known you for six year?"

_Not exactly the way to win a woman's heart, admitting-ly. _

Instead of snapping back at him for his cockiness like she would have in any other case- she worked with her new found thoughts and blurted out before she could change her mind, "Will you help me do my transfiguration?"

_Close your mouth James- we are not cod fish._

"Er…"

"I mean yah… if your not busy and er… don't mind…"

"Definitely!" he said hitting himself on the head mentally for not being more… _casual_ about it.

"Thanks."

_And if you think Lily Evans, head girl, really needed any help on her essay I've got some great Hermione and Harry canons to talk to you about. _

"Anytime," he said giving her the only true smile yet all day.

And it was addictive making her just have to…

Smile back…

Probably her only true smile all day, and it was given to _James Potter_.

And that smile did something. It _made sure _that James never gave up- or even thought of it ever again… and it also made Lily realize that she really rather have the company of the boy who used to pull her braids then her cynical self pity.

And maybe that wasn't so bad after all…

And maybe they realized then again that they really were way too much alike… and that they knew too much about each other… except what they tried to hide (and even that sometimes seems evident to their dismay) but foes tend to only have eyes for each other…

And well… maybe in that moment Lily Evans realized that she was Lily Evans. Seventh year old Gryffindor head girl, most valuable member of the Slug Club and practically stalked by James Potter…

And he was James Potter… Marauder, Head Boy and the Quiditch Captain… practically the stalker of Lily Evans.

And well… what would they be with out the other?

Like without that loose tooth of yours… that sweet pain? When it's gone… it's so empty and you miss that nagging yet sickingly likable pain…

That smudge on your TV you're too lazy to clean and then learn to live with… and realize it wasn't that big of a deal after all…

And maybe

Who would she be without him? After six years of wishing him away… maybe he just became a part of her daily life… and well… the possibility he may in a couple of months not be… scared her…

And though she said she'd never be dependent on a guy this somehow seemed… different.

If she lost him… maybe in a freaky way she'd loose _herself_.

And with another small but if truth be told genuine smile exchanged she decided… _no way in Hell am I going to let that happen. _

**_The End! _**

**_Or (arguably) _**

_**The Beginning **_

**Wow- my second one-shot… and er… apologize for the badly written summary. But that just seemed to fit… and I really do like this… it's different and you might not but I hope you do…but arguably both opinions are more important… I have tons of plot bunnies like this- LJ one-shots and if you like this I'd really love to write them as well… I apologize for the lack of updates on 'Small Steps' and 'A Quirk of Fate'. The thing is since I haven't started High School yet because of the big move, I have a lack of inspiration that I had before- but once I start the day after tomorrow crosses fingers I think I'll get some… So yes that's a good thing for those two particular stories… But it's on my conscience every day so I do apologize…**

**I really like this so I hope you WILL take the time to update!**

**Like always,**

**TajM**

_**P.S.- Many apologies for the out of place canon metaphor… I couldn't resist! **_


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